Umaima Abdel Aziz Abdel Salaam is from Ezbet el Walda, Helwan, Cairo

Eid
“We celebrate Eid at home. Of course I would like to go out and take my children to any park, enjoy our time; but this would require expenses that we would not be able to afford. I tell my children ‘As long as we are together, this is all that matters, whether at home or outside’. So I spend the day cooking the meat we get. This year I bought a radio. I will pay for it in instalments. I know this might surprise you, but sometimes no matter how poor you are, you still want to have something that will make you happy. And I longed so much to hear the pilgrimage rituals and hear the pilgrims worshipping Allah in Mecca, as I knew I would never have the money to join them, so at least I can hear them on the radio – this made me feel happy.

Besides the meat, I try to save some money before the Eid, so I can buy one kilo of fruit and make juice for my children; they love that so much. We normally eat lentils, turnip and beans. We buy our stuff from the market. We do not eat meat on a regular basis; you can say every 3 months or something.

Struggling for survival
I have been struggling to support my children for 18 years. A whole 18 years. Have you ever seen such a long endless struggle? I doubt it. So it is my normal life routine, it is like a habit to me now, something I am used to and do not find strange anymore.

Fired for being honest
This difficulty started after my husband got fired from his work, when he refused to take bribes. So the company he worked for punished him for being an honest man, and got him into many problems, not only firing him but also getting him imprisoned for months. I wonder how rich we would have been if we accepted the bribery? Would I be struggling to find food? Indeed, I would not. But I know that being honest has a price, and I would rather be poor and honest than have millions and be corrupt. When you follow what Allah says, you win, even if it is after a very long time. I learnt from my parents that when you take God's side you never lose, and that is the lesson I teach my children. This faith is what helps us cope; this is the treasure of the poor people.

Hunger
We have been through many struggles, but the hardest of them all was when I had absolutely nothing in my house to eat and I had no one to help me. My children had not had a single meal for two days. So I had to take some rotten bread from the rubbish bin of my neighbour. I washed it and then put it into some water to boil, and served it to them.

I swear I had no other option except to starve and I could bear hunger, but my kids could not. There are no harder words than 'mamma I want food' or 'mamma I am hungry'. It kills me when I cannot do anything to change it. I feel so helpless and weak.

IR help
I have received a Ramadan package from IR this year and now the Qurbani meat.

Qurbani meat has been of great help to me. I cannot afford to buy meat regularly for my family, although my children ask me all the time to cook them meat. If I can get to buy a kilo or half every now and then, it makes them so happy. That is why they love Eid so much because they get to eat meat.

We are eight in the house; me, my six children and my granddaughter.

Abandoned
I do not have an income or a breadwinner. After my husband's problem, he stayed at home, and we would fight all the time. I wanted him to work and support us, but he did not want to do anything anymore. I asked him what about our children, who will fill their mouths? He lost the will to do anything other than shutting himself in the house. Our condition kept worsening and worsening, and finally he left us and moved to live with his parents in Upper Egypt.

Of course I miss him, he is my husband and the father of my children, and I curse poverty that separated us, but we cannot be together anymore. Once my younger child asked me 'Mamma why are we fatherless like orphans?' and I cried at the question. I could not tell him that no one would hire his father, an ex-prisoner. I could not tell him his father could not support us, so he left in order not to be a burden. I could not tell him the cruel facts. I did not want them to hate their lives and lose their will to survive like their father did.

I am not used to work because my husband used to support us. But now I bake bread for our neighbours. They help me without actually giving me money, because they know that would insult me. So they give me the ingredients (flour, butter etc), take a couple of loaves and leave the rest for me and my children.

Patience
Also, the mosque beside my house helps me with a monthly aid of LE170 (21 Euros). They do not cover our expenses or pay off our debts, but at least they help us survive. What makes us cope is the patience and satisfaction Allah has granted us, to endure our hard conditions and be content with whatever Allah brings, because whatever He brings must be the best for us. Who knows why some people are poor and others are rich? We do not question that, because we know definitely that things happen for a reason, so we cope with this reason with patience and satisfaction.

In addition to my financial problems, I have health problems with my bones and blood pressure. Doctors told me that I must be hospitalised for a couple of weeks, but I can neither leave my children nor afford the medication, so I just try to adapt to my pain. Also, my son Abdel-Razik needs two operations; he has kidney stones and urethra disorders.”